Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
