sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
