I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
