I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
