no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
