Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
