Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Terrible idea I love it
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