i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
