didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
