Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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