I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
