Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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