If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
