apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
