was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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