we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
