Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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