Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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