: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
