It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
