its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
