I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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