woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
