the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
