i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
