Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
