There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
