I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
