i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
