Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
