if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
