whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
