Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
