I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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