So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
