Dual....:-)
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
