thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
