i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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