I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
