hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
