I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
