Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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