i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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