so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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