he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
