i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
