Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
