Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
