I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Acid is not a monday night drug
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
