Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
